It's been awhile since I've been here, hasn't it? Sorry. Well. Not.
It's been a long few weeks for me, mentally. I've been getting to see some other sides to a lot of people and I'm just... I'm so disgusted. I feel like I never should have given some of these people the benefit of the doubt. It amazes me how quickly some people can turn their actions around and somehow blame them on you. It's just... fascinating.
Christ, and the hypocrisy... Honestly, there are no words for these people. I wish I could just deliver a 145-dB Eff You in their face and never have to deal with them again. I just... ugh. It baffles me.
In other news... have you and one of your characters ever wanted completely different things? I'm going through it right now with... nearly all of them. Only two are going in a direction I completely support. It's weird.
And don't give me that 'you control them, you make them do what you want' nonsense. If your characters are well-written, they take on their own personalities, and you should get to know them and write what THEY want. For instance, if you have a character who has spent their entire life believing one thing, and telling everyone this one thing, and two days later they have done a complete 180 without any semblance of developing toward that change, it's fake as hell and it's obviously you making that decision.
Let's look at my poor RIP/NPC Nate. He was always just a quiet kid. I had no clue he was going to turn into such a passionate, intense person when he was trying to win Lacy over, but it just came naturally, as did his bitter anger when she first rejected him. I hated it, it killed me, but it's who he was. And because I couldn't relate to him, he was only easy to play when I was in a crappy mood. He eventually pulled out of it, but he was still always a little sullen. I would have loved for him to be just cool and calm again, but, that's not who he was, and I wasn't going to change him just to make myself feel better about it.
This has been one of the longest weeks of my life. My entire department is on vacation. I say entire, but my "department" is four people, and that includes me. So... the other three are out. It's just me. And in this whole office of 18 people, only 5 of us have been here this week.
It's been a good week to get all the little things done. All the stuff where you're like, "Okay I'll get to these when I have time," and then you never have time. Monday was spent printing and mailing acceptance letters for the pre-k system that I oversee, then printing letters for every 5th grader in the district to let their parents know sex ed is coming (oh noooo!) and learning how to use this sweet folding and envelope stuffing machine. There was no way I was folding 500 letters. The Pre-k letter count was 130. That's a manageable number. Over 500? No. Tuesday was... a bunch of little things, organizing, cleaning, throwing stuff out, etc. Wednesday... ugh. Three years old purchase orders to various textbook companies, trying to sort them by company, by school, by year, because the people who had this job before me never saw fit to do it. Yesterday I didn't do much of anything. I read on my kindle all day then went out to a long lunch. I swear there's no point to being here.
Today, I'm heading out for lunch then I need to write to all these book companies for quotes for books for next year. And that's literally all I have to work on. Sending a bunch of emails. Why am I here?