It usually starts up just after Thanksgiving, the big family dinner usually being the catalyst. Basically, Thanksgiving day puts me in a mood in general, and then I start 'giving in' to the SAD. I know this, because the one time I skipped dinner and worked a double I was fine until just before Christmas. I used to work in a nursing home, so we didn't exactly have days that we were closed, and everyone always wanted the day off. In my family, we did all our Christmas stuff on Christmas Eve, so I always volunteered to work Christmas day - double pay! - and I would always work on Thanksgiving. Usually I'd work the morning shift (6a-2p) then go home to dinner, but that particular year I opted to work a double (6a-8p. That was a nice paycheck
Anyway, the point is, my family is particularly annoying. No boundaries. I realize that's the point with family, but sometimes it's to the extreme. They don't know when to stop or let something go. My cousin brought a girlfriend to dinner once. They'd been dating maybe five months. My family - grandma and one aunt specifically - acted as if it was their engagement party. My cousin was like, okay guys that's enough. The girl broke up with him a week later, saying she felt too pressured.
I recently defriended my grandmother on facebook because she would analyze everything I'd post, then run to my mother with her opinion on why whatever I said is evidence of why I'm single, or why I'm a bad person, or that I shouldn't put stuff like that on there. Basically, swearing at all is the equivalent of spinsterhood according to her. She called me out on the defriending on Mother's Day (another family dinner) and I was like, you're right, my facebook page is my platform to say whatever the hell I want, usually done when I'm pissed off at something or really excited, it's not exactly an in-depth review of who I am as a whole. It's not there for you to run and report to my mother as if she has anything to do with it, or for you to think you know anything about me. I'm a grown woman. Back off. She got all huffy, but had no response. Because she knew I was right.
So... every year I get the old why aren't you married, when you are gonna get married, you're not getting any younger, better have some kids, etc. It's insanely fucking annoying. It gets even worse when they seem to feel like I need to be reminded that I'm the oldest of all the cousins, and that 4 of the next 5 under me have kids, one of them being my younger brother. Like I had no idea. Wow, really? Well let me remind you that I'm the one practically raising one of those kids, which really doesn't give me a whole lot of time to focus on getting my own. Also, need I remind you that of those, 2 aren't married and both of the kids were oopsies. I love my nephew like my own son, but he exists only because my brother was a 20-year-old whore who cheated on his girlfriend with his 19-year-old ex, and she was trying to trap him. She can deny it all she wants to, but she's made insinuations.
Anyway, they will literally pepper the entire evening with questions. "Oh you came alone?" Yes. An hour later, "Not anyone special in your life?" No. Two hours later, "Why are you still single? Are you looking in the right places?" And then the suggestions come. "You know, my neighbor's son met his wife on one of those dating sites." Thanks for the anecdote. Guess what? That's one out of probably twenty people you know (or who knows someone) that's done the whole online dating thing. Furthermore, hello, don't you think I've already tried that? Seriously, go away.
And then I get irritated all over again at the complicated relationship between myself and the Marine. And that shit hurts.
So, like I said, that day usually puts me in a pissy mood, and it's all downhill from there. Realistically, the SAD starts to get to me around the beginning of November, but I keep a pretty good handle it. Then the crabby mood makes it hard for me fight everything else off, and... it's all blaahhhh.
I was counting on this year being different, since I'm not working during the day, I'd get enough daylight in my life to keep the symptoms at bay. Then I had that meltdown last month, about which I'm still a bit on edge, so the family interrogation will hit all the nerves instead of just one and I might flip out on them. This might be an eat-and-run type of thing.
Either that or it's time to get offensive right back
"Are you going to get married while I'm still alive to see it?" - I dunno, how long do you plan on living?
"Why are you still single?" - Why are you still married?
"When are you planning on having kids?" - As soon as my local abortion clinic gets shut down.
I don't know how I got into this whole rant. Wow. Maybe I'll add a new post to get to the point.